The Wisdom of VDB

In my brief time at Providence I have taken a few philosophy classes, 7 to be exact. During the time spent in these classes I learnt many things, but on the days where note taking became too tedious a chore, I opted instead for transcribing the wisdom of my esteemed professor. Here are some famous one-liners from the man we all know and love, so let's let the philosophical rubber hit the road and enjoy some truth statements by VDB.

"You are not a robot."
"Sometimes, you gotta get physical."
"A thing is what it is!"
"We can all be foolish."
"You are more than just good, you are something special."
"This is where the philosophical rubber hits the road."
"If it feels good do it!"
"Yay! I like it!"
"The tiger has big sharp teeth regardless of what culture you're in."
"He likes killing young people, I don't."
"The door is open, if and only if, the door is open."
"I also recognize that you are sinners and you will slack off."
"Or I could go into the library and feed everyone poison Kool Aid and then everyone would die and it would be quiet in the library..."
"If evolution is true all we should be good at is making sandwiches and having sex."
"What you should be knowing is sandwiches and sex, kind of an appropriate topic before lunch; sandwiches at least."
"I'm not pulling some sort of biological wool over your eyes."
"Birth is a termination of pregnancy too!"
"Let's do dastardly things to him until the police get here."
"We should shake our heads a little bit."
"The argument is, that size matters."
"Time permitting, we'll think about to speak."
"Embryonic stem cell research is still very much in its infancy."
"Fat! God knows we have enough of that."
"I'm gonna let some Scripture be light unto our philosophical feet."
"Cumulative Case Argument, it's pretty powerful I think."
"Some of us are apparently smaller than others."
"If I make a mistake and you call me a jerk you need to know that I will say, 'Yes, I am a jerk!'"
"I'm not wholly stupid, but I will admit I am sometimes."
"When I tell jokes at the dinner table, nobody laughs."
"Also, I encourage you to not drink and do all sorts of nasty things when you're young because it just gets worse as you get older. Just some words of wisdom."
"Sometimes a person just seems like an Orc!"
"It is handy to have a person still alive when you find him innocent."
"We should at least lock them up tightly and surround them with gospel tracts."
"We will not look at pornography!"
"I am not a politically organized state!"
"We need to just say hey!"
"Swords are weapons."
"Hang in there." (Usually said during double block Monday evening classes)
"Sikhism is an attempt to marry Islam and Hinduism which is kind of a bad marriage to make."
"I think prayer is important."
"Sometimes my intentions and what is real don't converge."
"Just the Resurrection and that's it? Yes, and it's pretty cool."
"I would never call anyone a turnip... as much as I might want to."
"It's like he's sitting on an epistemological branch and then sawing it off under him."
"Don't stab people with forks."
"The truth will remain whether you care or not."
"Where the heck are we going as a society?!?!"
"Little bit of a logical whiplash going on there."
"I spent years writing this thing and I just don't want it to go to waste. "(Check his dissertation fools!)
"So far, so good, but not for the demons; I don't know if we should feel sorry for them or not..."
"I continue to report.

And finally...

"But, is it true?"

Thank-you VDB for all of your insightful words of wisdom and hilarious attempts at humour, know that even if nobody laughed, I chuckled inwardly and recorded them for future use.


Jordan said...

Lol! Thanks for this! Brings back memories.

Hendrik van der Breggen said...

Note to general reader: Each of the above quotes needs much context.

Note to Ryan Turnbull: Next time we talk, I will be taking notes.

Harley said...

Haha! Great job, Ryan! I can just hear VDB say these!